She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
