he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
