he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the liver wants what the liver wants
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
