She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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