matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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