i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
