I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
