Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
