you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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