I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
