Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
