Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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