One girl and one boy is just not enough.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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