Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I will be naked everywhere
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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