just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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