She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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