Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
