why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
two words...techno handjob
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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