Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
