thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize