maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
