did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
