That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
