How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
