I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
