how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
