How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
