i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
