she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
