Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
