In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
