He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
