I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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