my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
