she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sorry my hands just texted you
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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