my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
