There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
