i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
