my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
