i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
