i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
