Just fell off a train. Bad.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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