So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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