Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
