Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
