just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
