MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I love having hate sex.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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