Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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