false alarm. still invincible.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
