I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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