never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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