ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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