well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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