This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
