Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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