You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I understand Curling. That high.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
ttyl tear gas
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
