last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
