8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
