I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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