Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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