I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.