Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.